Blindscentz 41

Find Your Why!

Just like that, summer is over, and fall is well on its way! For me, that means my days of orientation and mobility training will likely be limited, as travelling independently in the snowy months is not appealing to me…not yet!

Last week, my instructor dropped me off downtown in the area where we have been practising fixed travel. The drop-off was purposeful and intended to showcase my skills. I was basically lost within set parameters. I was somewhere between the Cultural Centre sidewalk and the Save-On-Foods parking lot.

As I exited the vehicle, I noted that we were not on the street. I went forward and came across grass. I moved left and found a barrier. I listened for traffic noise and noted where I thought 100^th Street was. I noted the sun’s location and began exploring. It is unsettling when your body is telling you that you are somewhere, but the sun is in the wrong place! I realized that it was likely my senses that were wrong because, as far as I know, the sun rises and sets in the same directions every day. I felt as if I were lost in a closet and could not find a clear way through. I came to a standstill for a long time and processed what I did know. My instructor asked what I was thinking. When she heard my process, she said, “Good, carry on.” Sometimes, you just have to get moving. To be honest, I am very afraid to go out into wide-open spaces, but that is what I did. I felt that I was in a parking lot. I thought perhaps I was in either the Cultural Centre or Dairy Queen parking lot because I found a power pole. I also noted a vehicle driving by me in close proximity. In retrospect, this was a good clue: I could have followed the direction of the vehicle to find a street. I did do this, but in a roundabout way. I found a grease bin and a garbage bin. Yuck! Yup, I touched them. I kept going and found a clue that confirmed I was in the lane. I then turned east, into the cool shadow of the building, and headed towards 100^th Street.

I confirmed where I was on 100^th Street by the manhole cover on the sidewalk at the TELUS building. What a relief it was to figure out where I was. Travelling from the Dairy Queen parking lot to this known location took me 45 minutes. Speed will come! I lined up to cross the street at 102^nd Avenue, only to have my instructor grab my arm because I had lined up incorrectly and was about to make an unsafe crossing. DARN IT! I messed up by not listening to the traffic. I was mentally fatigued at this point. We celebrated my accomplishment and called it a day.

The following day, I was determined to walk from the Blue Moon Yoga Studio to the Save-On-Foods bus stop. I stopped for coffee at the Farmhouse on Main. I left the coffee shop with plenty of time to navigate to the bus stop. Along the way, my hesitation showed, and I gratefully received offers of help to cross the street at 101^st Avenue, 103^rd Avenue, and 100^th Street. Everyone who offered was very respectful and took my lead on what help I required.

One person asked me more than once, “Why are you doing this?” My first response was, “Because everyone else does.” The second time, I said, “For my independence.”

Since arriving home on the bus after a trip that I made all by myself, I have been

FREEDOM!pondering this question. In reality, my why is contained in only one word.

Edwina Nearhood is a longtime Fort St. John resident who is sharing her vision loss journey. Please remember that every person’s experience with vision loss is as unique as they are.